Category Archives: Caring for yourself

Stretching – just do it!

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I don’t know about you, but I hate thinking about stretching.  Which is silly because stretching usually feels really good.  And yet we, many of us, skip this essential step.   
We know that when we practice we are working hard.  Nevertheless, we often finish, stand up, and walk away.  But stretching at the end of your practice is a smart thing to do and a good way to finish up.
Be sure to stretch within your range of motion.  Don’t keep stretching if you feel pain.  Stretch all of you – your neck, back, arms, shoulders, chest, and hands.  But just as importantly, stretch your glutes, your hip flexors, hamstrings, and all the way down to your feet.  Breathe while you’re stretching. 

You may need some deep breaths because so often when you’re working hard at your harp you are holding your breath.  
Make time for this – plan it into your practice time just like warm ups and exercises.  Make it a non-negotiable part of your time with your harp.

Just bloom

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You know I like to get inspiration wherever it appears…and recently I found this quote (I found it online – who knows who said it) –

A flower does not think of competing 
with the flower next to it.   
It just blooms.
It’s a good lesson…and one we could all stand to learn and review every day.  We often compare ourselves to other people…and often for no reason, or worse, for the wrong reasons.  Here are four reasons why you should just knock it off…and use that energy for something else – like practicing so you can be a good as you can be!

  1. Often you are wrong – you are not comparing yourself to that other person, but rather to what you think that person is.  You are working on an illusion and there’s no way you can compare to something that doesn’t exist!
  2. You’re missing out. When you are comparing yourself to others, you may be so worried that they’ll find out that you think you’re not as good as they are.  And that’s when you miss out, that you’re not open to learning from them.  Whether they are more experienced than you (or whatever it is that makes you think they are better than you) or just appear more confident – just think about what you could learn from them if you were open to it.
  3. You’re missing out of the fun of playing if you spend all your time and energy worrying.
  4. Eleanor Roosevelt may have said it best, “you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

If you need objective quality evidence – record yourself each year.  At about the same time each year, record what you’ve been working (I like the holidays – you’re likely to be playing the same music each year and then you can really hear you far you have come!).

The person you can compare yourself to successfully is – you.  Look at how far you have come.

I know I should be chipper…

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but good friends have shared bad news and it has accumulated to drag down my heart.

So I will do those small things that will be soothing – to think on my friends, to wish on them some small measure of comfort, and


to sit with my harp, playing away any pain. 

Sometimes you don’t need to practice – sometimes, you just need to play.

Greet the day

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I had the extreme good fortune to be a guest at Holy Cross Monastery this week for a harp retreat with old friends and other friends I hadn’t met before.  It is a lovely place in a beautiful location.  The weather was crap.  Gray.  Drizzly.  Misty.  It was perfect!

Of a morning, I greeted the dawn and was treated to the type of daybreak that only arises from awful weather – a breathtaking, gorgeous, extended crowning of the sun over the earth. 

The great thing about sunrise is that it can’t be rushed.  No matter how many you see (and I do my best to see as many as possible) each is beautiful in its own way and comes in its own time.  And no matter what you do, they simply are.  All you can do…is breathe…and wait for it…and enjoy.

Which is good for us to remember – we must sometimes take the time to simply be.  To breathe.  To allow the day to wash over us.  
This same approach can be brought to your harp and your music.  Don’t rush.  Enjoy the beauty.  Let the music unfold.  Relish that presence.  Practice it.  Until, like placing your fingers, counting, or breathing, it merely comes naturally.  Practice enjoying and not rushing until it comes naturally…and becomes just the way you do it.  

An Affair to Remember

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We are all busy it seems.  We have work, family, friends…and harp.  Sometimes it seems like something has to give – that there’s just not enough time to get everything done. This is especially exasperating if the thing that brings joy to your day is the one thing you don’t seem to get to. Yes, I’m talking to you.  Yes, I’m talking about playing your harp!
When time gets tight and you don’t have time to practice, it is disturbing – being parted from that which adds goodness to your day is not pleasant.  But it also worrisome – because you know that with each day you miss practicing you are getting further from your goals (whether you are focused on learning a particular tune or trying to be prepared to perform)…and that is frightening as well.
If this is happening to you, maybe it’s time to have an affair with your harp!  If you were having an affair, you’d force time into your day to have your fling.  You’d make excuses to be in the same place, to catch a glimpse, to run your hand along the arm.  You might sneak around, hoping that no one caught you. You would expend significant energy to get to the object of your affection. And each time you did, you’d be delighted and eager!
The time might be fleeting, but the frission of excitement each time you were near would be titillating.  And you’d so look forward to the next time – even if you had to manufacture it.
Go ahead.  An affair would be good for you – you could fall in love again…with your harp. 

Step out there

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Stage fright has an incredible power over people. There are well known, well loved performers who famously suffer from stage fright.  The problem with suffering with stage fright is that it cuts you off from opportunities – and most of us don’t like to have good opportunities disappear.  However, being afraid to get in front of a group and perform can significantly impact your harp life.  After all, why do we play if not to share our gifts with others? 
So how do you get to a point that you can perform for other people when you are terrified?  It is easy for others to tell you to get over it or to tell you that you need to focus outside yourself and share.  But if all that goes right out of your head when you’re about to set foot on stage, here are a few things to bring into your practice to help you be feel more easy and lower your stage fright.

  1. Practice the material!  Be sure that you know all the tunes you want to play in your program. 
  2. Record your self – at first you’ll be self-conscious…but keep at it – you’ll hear all kinds of things you don’t hear while you’re playing (both good and bad)…use this to build your practice, your program…and your confidence. 
  3. Practice improvisation – most stage fright comes from the fear that you’ll forget what you were going to play and will be left standing on the stage like a doofus.  The sure way around this is to practice improvisation to get you out of scrapes and to fill time while you think (I am not kidding). 
  4. Build up – first play for your cat, then your immediate family, then add your best friend, other friends, etc.  Work your way up to a room full of strangers. 
  5. Connect with your audience – it is one thing to be told that they want you to succeed.  But if you look up, look at them, connect verbally and nonverbally, you’ll finally believe it – you’ll see it in their faces.  They know they can’t do what you’re about to do…and they will be amazed! 
  6. Laugh – you will be tense…it probably helps that you’re a little tense…but be prepared to laugh, to enjoy yourself…and your audience will too. 
  7. Plan for the day – arrange to have time before you play to give yourself time to get there, get set up, breathe, and settle in. You will feel better if you’re settled than if you have to race in at the last minute.
  8. You are not alone!  Know that everyone has some level of trepidation.  Once you realize that everyone feels this way to some extent, you might not feel so marked out.

Stage fright is just another thing you can overcome with practice.  Maybe that should be a goal for this year?  Always play to enjoy – even if there is a little bit of fear mixed in.

It’s a new year –

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It is a new year – the time when we know that we “should” be reflecting on the past year and generating new goals for the coming year.  Making resolutions that we’re highly unlikely to actually keep.  And we do this every year…sigh.
So how about this year we make a plan rather than a goal? What if you focused on what you wanted to do rather than generating objectives?  What if this year you started out knowing that you could do it rather than waiting to fail?  What would you do to make this plan so that you can follow it all year long?  
Here are six things you can do to start working toward a plan:

  1. Write it down – this way not only can you not forget what your plan is, but you can make sure the plan doesn’t get any bigger (or any smaller) as time passes (unless you intend for it to).
  2. Think first – don’t just burst into action, but each day think about how you’re doing to get through that day’s part of the plan.  Take a few moments of quiet time (can be in the shower, over your morning cuppa, or anywhere else you have the time to be quiet) and think about it.
  3. Focus – spend time in your harp space, doing harp things.  Don’t bring your phone in with you, don’t turn on the TV, put down your novel and focus on your harp.
  4. Keep your space neat (to help you focus…and to be able to find your harp).  If at all possible, have a harp space – an area that is harp only with no other obligations for the space (that is, don’t play from your desk chair or turn the bench around to have breakfast, but rather have dedicated space for harping).
  5. Make a habit – this is not just me telling you to practice but rather, develop your own habits for your harp time. Warm up in the same basic way, work through your new material in the same pattern, segment your practice time similarly each day.  Once this becomes a habit you can begin to deviate to alleviate boredom – but stay within your habit pattern.
  6. Develop a ritual – this is akin to the habit, but a ritual helps set the mood. Start each day at your harp after you’ve had your tea and brushed your teeth.  Or put up the dinner dishes before your sit down, secure that all is well before you begin to play.  Or light candles in your harp room…or develop any other ritual that reminds you that it is time to practice and prepares you to spend time with your harp. 
This is a gentle way to slide into the new year.  Sneak up on your plan and accomplish your goals without anyone (except you) being the wiser!