As school starts all around us, it’s easy to think back to our favorite teachers over time. I don’t know about you, but with a few (glaring) exceptions, I had wonderful teachers. Some were a kind of wonderful that I didn’t appreciate them until much later. Some made lasting impressions that arise even now, ever so many years.

This is especially true of my harp teachers – some as my “regular” tutors that taught me to play the harp (and so much more) and the ones I think of as “pop-ups” – those workshop teachers that gifted me with some nugget that pushed me a little farther along my path, or over a hump, or around an obstacle. I’m a lucky, lucky harper!

But not all teachers are brilliant. And sometimes a great teacher has a bad day. There are also some times that a teacher is just not attuned to what a student needs. Without more data I hesitate to call anyone a bad teacher – although I am sure they exist. But one of you shared that your teacher had compared your performance nerves to being like when a dog knows it’s going to the vet! You added, “Very discouraging, to say the least.”

I beg to differ. While yes, it’s discouraging, it is much worse. It is needlessly pointless. Worst of all – it was not helpful. Not having a solution to offer does not equate to saying something hurtful. There were so many other things to say in that moment, but the comment chosen certainly didn’t move you forward.

We can talk another time about ways to deal with getting shaky in the face of performing but right now, that comment just sticks out and I can’t leave it be.

When you get comments like that, they shift your focus – and not in a good way. Those types of comments take away from playing and growing. Those are words that push you down and can, left untreated, pull you under. Especially when they come from your teacher, the person meant to nurture your growth and development. What should you do?

When you get unhelpful (and hurtful) feedback, you will need to manage yourself and serve as your own substitute teacher. You can pick or nix the comments you receive. You might need a tool to help you determine how to use the feedback. One useful tool would be to make yourself a decision matrix so you can determine what of the comments is useful and what should just be canned as quickly as possible! Here are the questions for your matrix –

You can probably think of even better ways to use the comments you get, even when they’re hurtful or poorly constructed – hope you’ll share them (you know the drill – email me a comment!).

There is one more place available to come with us to Ireland and Scotland in October! You know you want to go so check out the details and get your spot secured!

You already know that I really enjoy teaching. I have wonderful and amazing students, and I am certain that I learn more from them than they learn from me!

Richard Feynman (the genius scientist – and yes, I am an unabashed fan girl) was well known for pointing out that the best way to learn something (and to be certain you had learned it) is to teach it. The part he didn’t really highlight was that your own depth of learning would grow by teaching the same material to different people. Each of them will start where they are (where else could they?!) and take in what they are able in the order that they need to make sense of the world as you (the teacher) have presented it.

This means that I, as the teacher, must break out of my own place to provide what they can accommodate in a sequence that makes sense – to them. That’s a challenge – and I love it! Simply by being themselves, they push me to bend and stretch and reach for the stars. And when a student “gets it” – whether it is a tune, a harmony, a phrase, or even an interval – I rejoice! Because learning is demanding work and I’m grateful to be a part of it.

I sometimes worry that they will think I’m mocking them – and that’s when I wish we had LED displays on our heart – so they could see the joy for what it is – pure delight!

All that sounds like it’s all about me. And true, some of it is. After all, it can be brow breaking work to be flexible and creative hour after hour, day after day on the bench. But more importantly, 99% of is all about the student. Each thing they learn makes a brick to build the bridge from where we are to where we’re going – the next step of their journey. I’m just the tour guide.

Is there anything more fulfilling than being that guide? I don’t think so! You can have that too – I’d like to suggest that you offer a “come and try” (or “harp petting zoo”). You can make it part of your Music Day or Random Acts of Harping event. Because, for all my blether here, you – yes, you! – could share the same joy by teaching someone about the joy of making music and of playing the harp in particular!

Here’s your lesson plan:

• Put your harp in Cmaj (no sharps, no flats).
• Invite them to sit.
• Hold onto your harp and guide it to them. Remind them not to lean forward (no, really, everyone does it).
• Tell them to use their pointer finger on either hand to play any white string.
• Demonstrate that they can’t really break the harp by pulling really hard on a string. Do NOT let go of the column (so you can stay in control of the harp).
• No matter how much you want to jump in, (and as long as everyone is safe) let them explore for a moment – even the timid. Pay attention to their cues to pace yourself.
• After a decent interval, teach them to Gliss (everyone one loves to do that most harpy of things).
• If they seem keen, you can teach them Twinkle Little Star or Frere Jacques (using just the 2 finger).

It’s about them learning and enjoying. Don’t pin the reluctant to the bench and encourage the engaged. And on occasion check in with your heart – it’ll probably be full of joy!

Have you done a come and try? Tell me about it! Never done one? Are you going to try now? Let me know with a comment! BTW – I’m excited to be doing a come and try at the Ohio Scottish Games on Saturday, 28 June at 3pm. Come to the Harp Competition which starts at 9am and stay for the fun!

National Music Day is Saturday – perfect opportunity to get out there! Pair it with Random Acts of Harping and you’ve got a slam dunk!

There is not a teacher that I know that hasn’t heard some variation of, “it was so much better at home”! I know, right? Sadly, I know this not only as a teacher but also because I’ve said it myself! Because we have practiced so much and we’re expecting so much of ourselves when we get to our lesson.

Therefore, we could be excused for being bemused when we sit in our lesson and … bomb! It’s like we brought rented fingers. Like we didn’t bother to practice. Like we play some other instrument. Like we’re no good. What happened?

What happens is that you have practiced playing the tune, but you haven’t really practiced performing it. Nor have you (probably) practiced playing in a different environment. I know that none of my students has a carpet as challenging as the one in my studio. They don’t have the same lighting. They don’t have the same harp (some have a different model, others have a different brand). And they sure didn’t practice all week with me looming next to them, watching what they do.

The reality is that your lesson is not a stage performance, but it is a type of performance. You are playing for an audience. And you know that your audience is judging.* The question is what will you learn when you do these performances? Here are a few things you might do to learn more to take away from your next lesson performance:

Optimize your setting. Make sure you have enough light, enough room, are comfortable, and can relax before playing. You can still do this, even if you’re at a lesson. It will give you space for your performance. And it might give your teacher some insight into how their studio looks to a student.

Have a run through. This is a good idea to help you settle down. If you’re nervous, just play a “throw away” – play through the tune just to settle in, get used to the harp, and shake off the commute and the day and get your head fully into your playing. You might ask your teacher to busy themselves doing something that isn’t listening to you – just to get in the groove. Once in that groove – then perform the tune.

Lean in to where you are. If you’re still learning a tune, don’t pretend (or expect) to play it flawlessly. Think about what’s not working and start there. Rather than plopping on the bench and belting out a bunch of notes, start a discussion about what you have had trouble with, what’s tripped you up repeatedly, what you’re dreading as you come up on it, and what’s going pretty easily.   All this will help you and your teacher focus on what needs work. Don’t make your teacher figure it out – you’ve had all week to find out where the problems are, so use that information to move you forward! After working on the kinks, then you can play the tune!

Just these three things will make each of your lessons more effective and will shift your thinking about performing in your lesson. You will be able to prepare better, learn more, and get farther each time. And that will get you ready to learn even more!

Do you feel like your lessons are performances? How does that help (or hinder) you? If you haven’t thought of it that what, what else do you think you might do for your lessons? Let me know here in the comments!

*All teachers judge – but good teachers judge your playing – not you!

Ouch!
We all like getting praise. It’s fun and comfortable, and it’s nice to get a pat on the back from a hand that isn’t attached to our own arm! As tasty as praise is though, we learn so much more from feedback. Critique. Criticism. On the other hand, it’s not always easy to get feedback! Sometimes – just ouch!

But criticism does contain a bunch of things to be learned. So how do you take in and use criticism and use it to grow your playing? Here are some things you can do:

First breathe – remember that it’s criticism, not an eye-wateringly awful attack. Then you’ll be ready to…

Determine if you think the input is valuable. Criticism from a knowledgeable person who shares the evaluation for your benefit (that was a long winded way to say they’re not overtly trying to wound you) can yield valuable nuggets (even if it hurts). If you doubt it (or disagree), get a second opinion, and if they don’t jibe, ditch it!* And, if the comment is from some nitwit off the street? Really? Give it the weight it deserves and chuck it out!

Look at why the comment stung. If it’s because you kinda already knew it, you just didn’t want to admit it – learn. If it is picking a scab, thresh through it to find the useful bits. And remember that you can elect to ignore it.

Make sure you heard what is said…not what you think was said. Be clear about the message before you form an opinion of it. Focus on the comment. Breathe and don’t let your inner thoughts run away from you. We can all learn and improve. Reframe the input if you don’t like the words (when the message is solid).
Once you know what was said, focus on what you can learn. What changes can you make? Ask questions if you don’t see a way forward. A good provider of useful feedback will answer the questions. If you feel stung by the words, take a moment to breathe before you ask a question. Keep your ego in check! Don’t let your fears cloud out what you can learn. We can all improve…yes, even you!

Be kind to yourself – feedback does help you grow…when you can use it. Using it is not possible if you are beating yourself up.

Finally, know that sometimes when someone stings you with criticism, it’s more about them than it is about you. But it is up to you to find the useful stuff, form it into something you can use (or at least learn from), and grow.

Have you ever gotten “ouchy” feedback? How did you use it to improve (or what did you learn)? Have you ever found yourself giving cringy critique? How would you improve it (if you could do it again)? Let me know in the comments!

*Of course, I don’t mean only seeking praise! The second opinion may put a finer point on the critique, clarify it, or refute it.

Just one thing

When you have an unexpected variation occur (less charitable people might refer to this as a mistake) what do you do? 

If you’re like most people, you might do a bunch of things all at once.  You wince, you stop playing, you look at your hands, you look at your harp, you look at the music, you look at your teacher (or other audience), and you panic a little. 

And then you might try to fix everything – all at once. But is this the best thing to do?  Probably not.  Because what’s the most important thing to come away from a mistake with?

The lesson that was buried in it. 

To learn the lessons the “variation” can teach you, you need to unpack it from all the detritus in which you found it.  And to do that, you have to look at each thing – just one thing at a time. 

What things are you going to look at?  Well you need to know how you ended up there.  Were you going too fast? Was your fingering not solid? Did you lose focus? What happened once you ended up there? Was it a trainwreck or were you just off a little? Did you know where you were?  Were you able to quickly determine what happened or were you completely lost? Were you surprised or did you know it was coming and were hoping you could ride it out? Did you have a solution immediately or did you need to figure a bunch of stuff out?

Of course, there are a nearly infinite pool of possible questions but to get at the answers, try to answer one question at a time – don’t try to solve everything at once. Parse the problem and identify solutions. And then go from there.  The solution for going too fast is a very different than for losing focus, for example. 

So, the next time you have an “opportunity to excel” try doing one thing at a time in pursuit of an answer or a way forward.  Stop! Don’t move.  Be still.  Rather than be a flurry of activity, take a breath.  Because being a flurry of activity works well – until it doesn’t and something doesn’t go right.  Now you can think, observe, and assess what’s happened.

Give it a try yourself – it does take a little practice to pause, but that gets you time to replay in your mind’s ear what you heard and feel where you are in space.  Commit to only doing one thing to get your bearings! Don’t fall prey to the impulse to fix everything – because you probably don’t know what is wrong, so how can you fix it?  If you forge ahead you’ll just confuse yourself and make it more difficult to find the solution.

Next time you find you’re in a “variation” give yourself a beat to stop, be still, think, and decide what to fix first.  Give it a try and let me know what you learn in the comments!