Category Archives: Caring for yourself

Basking in the glow

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Summer is a wonderful time.  Not only is the sun shining and the warmth of the days calls us to spend more time in that glorious light, but perhaps more importantly…it’s festival season!

I am basking in the afterglow of participating in the Somerset Folk Harp Festival in a summer full of enjoying the thrill of the middle of the summer Games and Competitions season, while getting ready for this year’s Harp Camp, and gearing up for the Harp the Highlands and Islands tour for this year*. Picture1

Summer is just chock-a-block with great opportunities to learn, to play, to meet new friends, to see old friends, and to just enjoy our music!  I hope you have had to occasion to avail yourself of the discovery, the camaraderie, and the pure joy of making music.

Summer is fleeting though and soon we’ll be in the bitter cold of winter when there are fewer opportunities to get together, time will be spent alone, practicing for Christmas gigs, and the shortened days seem to suck some of the joy from the day.  With the waning daylight we will miss the carefree days of playing through the summer.

Find your opportunity to join with others, to make music and have fun!

*there’s still time – if you want to get in on this year’s Harp the Highlands and Islands tour, get more information here or send me an email.

Take it slow

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Why are we so impatient with ourselves?  We are always sure that other people are having an easy time of it, but really, we all struggle from time to time – with a technique, with a phrase, with a tune, with reparation for a gig.

But really – why are we in such a hurry? You might think we’d rather slow down and enjoy the time at our harps, but instead we pressure ourselves.  We can really work ourselves up.  Sometimes we pressure ourselves right out of enjoying playing!

So, how can you tamp that impatience just a little, and in the process not only learn more and play better but also enjoy your time on the bench more?  Here are 5 things you can do to be more patient, take things more slowly, and likely play better:

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  1. Set a goal.  I know, you’re probably tired of hearing me say that, but it really does help.  Goal setting will allow you to make a schedule (even if it’s notional) and then you can be sure that you have enough time to meet your goal.
  2. Part and parcel to the goal setting is to write it down!  In addition to capturing your goal, you can capture your progress in a journal.  Your journal can be written or audio – the form is not as important as being able to gauge your progress.  In addition, reviewing your journal will help you get through those times when you are only focused on how far you have to go rather than how far you have come.
  3. Be positive – you will get there…how long and how easily is directly related to the time and effort you put into getting there.
  4. Practice patience!  Like everything else, becoming more patient with yourself, allowing yourself to take the time you need to attain your goal, requires practice.  Don’t be disheartened if you slip, don’t give up if things don’t look like they are going well.  Enjoy the journey in anticipation of the destination!
  5. Be kind to yourself.  Talk to yourself as you would a good friend – give yourself encouragement to continue and permission to develop.

Spend the time you need to become the harper you want to be.  Be patient.  Take it slowly. Do the work…and reap the reward in good time!

Time to act

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Its about that time – we’re a little over half way through the year.  That makes it a great time to review how you are progressing toward your goals for this year.  You’ve had plenty of time to forget your resolutions, to have slid off your goals, to need to be gently reminded of where you wanted to go this year.

Back in January I suggested you do these six things:

  • Write it down
  • Think first
  • Focus
  • Keep your space neat
  • Make a habit
  • Develop a ritual

So, how are you doing?  If you’re making progress – congratulations!  Keep it up and you’ll have a really productive year.

If you’ve “fallen off the wagon” you have plenty of time to get back on course.  Review (or actually set) your goals, identify the specific steps to get you there, and then schedule time for yourself to perform those steps.  And within the year, you’ll have done really well and made progress!

Relaaaaax

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We all know that we should close our hands when we’re playing.  Teachers make up funny names to help students learn and remember (clam hands, puppy paws, etc.).  We exhort our students to “Close!  Close!  Close!” 
And many of you know that the point is to allow your hands (and forearms) to relax, to let those muscles rest, ever so briefly.  That musicians are athletes of the small muscles.
But in the midst of learning something new, we are focused (or possibly stressed), trying to learn the tune, or to master the hard bit, or to get the timing just right.  We are focused on the notes, the passage, the phrase.  And what we’re not focused on…is our hands!  What can you do?  Here are three things to incorporate into your practice to improve your ability to relax while playing:

  1. When you are learning new things is it important to occasionally open your focus – knowing the notes won’t help if they sound terrible, strained or tinny.   
  2. Pay attention to what you are doing.  Just as you need to remember to breathe, remember to check your hands – how is your technique?    
  3. Slow down!  There is no race to learning – you will get the tune, learn the notes, master the passage – so quit trying to compete with everyone else – there is no race!

Enjoy – playing is enjoyable so don’t stress yourself out – just relax…and play

Stretching – just do it!

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I don’t know about you, but I hate thinking about stretching.  Which is silly because stretching usually feels really good.  And yet we, many of us, skip this essential step.   
We know that when we practice we are working hard.  Nevertheless, we often finish, stand up, and walk away.  But stretching at the end of your practice is a smart thing to do and a good way to finish up.
Be sure to stretch within your range of motion.  Don’t keep stretching if you feel pain.  Stretch all of you – your neck, back, arms, shoulders, chest, and hands.  But just as importantly, stretch your glutes, your hip flexors, hamstrings, and all the way down to your feet.  Breathe while you’re stretching. 

You may need some deep breaths because so often when you’re working hard at your harp you are holding your breath.  
Make time for this – plan it into your practice time just like warm ups and exercises.  Make it a non-negotiable part of your time with your harp.

Just bloom

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You know I like to get inspiration wherever it appears…and recently I found this quote (I found it online – who knows who said it) –

A flower does not think of competing 
with the flower next to it.   
It just blooms.
It’s a good lesson…and one we could all stand to learn and review every day.  We often compare ourselves to other people…and often for no reason, or worse, for the wrong reasons.  Here are four reasons why you should just knock it off…and use that energy for something else – like practicing so you can be a good as you can be!

  1. Often you are wrong – you are not comparing yourself to that other person, but rather to what you think that person is.  You are working on an illusion and there’s no way you can compare to something that doesn’t exist!
  2. You’re missing out. When you are comparing yourself to others, you may be so worried that they’ll find out that you think you’re not as good as they are.  And that’s when you miss out, that you’re not open to learning from them.  Whether they are more experienced than you (or whatever it is that makes you think they are better than you) or just appear more confident – just think about what you could learn from them if you were open to it.
  3. You’re missing out of the fun of playing if you spend all your time and energy worrying.
  4. Eleanor Roosevelt may have said it best, “you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

If you need objective quality evidence – record yourself each year.  At about the same time each year, record what you’ve been working (I like the holidays – you’re likely to be playing the same music each year and then you can really hear you far you have come!).

The person you can compare yourself to successfully is – you.  Look at how far you have come.

I know I should be chipper…

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but good friends have shared bad news and it has accumulated to drag down my heart.

So I will do those small things that will be soothing – to think on my friends, to wish on them some small measure of comfort, and


to sit with my harp, playing away any pain. 

Sometimes you don’t need to practice – sometimes, you just need to play.

Greet the day

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I had the extreme good fortune to be a guest at Holy Cross Monastery this week for a harp retreat with old friends and other friends I hadn’t met before.  It is a lovely place in a beautiful location.  The weather was crap.  Gray.  Drizzly.  Misty.  It was perfect!

Of a morning, I greeted the dawn and was treated to the type of daybreak that only arises from awful weather – a breathtaking, gorgeous, extended crowning of the sun over the earth. 

The great thing about sunrise is that it can’t be rushed.  No matter how many you see (and I do my best to see as many as possible) each is beautiful in its own way and comes in its own time.  And no matter what you do, they simply are.  All you can do…is breathe…and wait for it…and enjoy.

Which is good for us to remember – we must sometimes take the time to simply be.  To breathe.  To allow the day to wash over us.  
This same approach can be brought to your harp and your music.  Don’t rush.  Enjoy the beauty.  Let the music unfold.  Relish that presence.  Practice it.  Until, like placing your fingers, counting, or breathing, it merely comes naturally.  Practice enjoying and not rushing until it comes naturally…and becomes just the way you do it.  

An Affair to Remember

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We are all busy it seems.  We have work, family, friends…and harp.  Sometimes it seems like something has to give – that there’s just not enough time to get everything done. This is especially exasperating if the thing that brings joy to your day is the one thing you don’t seem to get to. Yes, I’m talking to you.  Yes, I’m talking about playing your harp!
When time gets tight and you don’t have time to practice, it is disturbing – being parted from that which adds goodness to your day is not pleasant.  But it also worrisome – because you know that with each day you miss practicing you are getting further from your goals (whether you are focused on learning a particular tune or trying to be prepared to perform)…and that is frightening as well.
If this is happening to you, maybe it’s time to have an affair with your harp!  If you were having an affair, you’d force time into your day to have your fling.  You’d make excuses to be in the same place, to catch a glimpse, to run your hand along the arm.  You might sneak around, hoping that no one caught you. You would expend significant energy to get to the object of your affection. And each time you did, you’d be delighted and eager!
The time might be fleeting, but the frission of excitement each time you were near would be titillating.  And you’d so look forward to the next time – even if you had to manufacture it.
Go ahead.  An affair would be good for you – you could fall in love again…with your harp. 

Step out there

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Stage fright has an incredible power over people. There are well known, well loved performers who famously suffer from stage fright.  The problem with suffering with stage fright is that it cuts you off from opportunities – and most of us don’t like to have good opportunities disappear.  However, being afraid to get in front of a group and perform can significantly impact your harp life.  After all, why do we play if not to share our gifts with others? 
So how do you get to a point that you can perform for other people when you are terrified?  It is easy for others to tell you to get over it or to tell you that you need to focus outside yourself and share.  But if all that goes right out of your head when you’re about to set foot on stage, here are a few things to bring into your practice to help you be feel more easy and lower your stage fright.

  1. Practice the material!  Be sure that you know all the tunes you want to play in your program. 
  2. Record your self – at first you’ll be self-conscious…but keep at it – you’ll hear all kinds of things you don’t hear while you’re playing (both good and bad)…use this to build your practice, your program…and your confidence. 
  3. Practice improvisation – most stage fright comes from the fear that you’ll forget what you were going to play and will be left standing on the stage like a doofus.  The sure way around this is to practice improvisation to get you out of scrapes and to fill time while you think (I am not kidding). 
  4. Build up – first play for your cat, then your immediate family, then add your best friend, other friends, etc.  Work your way up to a room full of strangers. 
  5. Connect with your audience – it is one thing to be told that they want you to succeed.  But if you look up, look at them, connect verbally and nonverbally, you’ll finally believe it – you’ll see it in their faces.  They know they can’t do what you’re about to do…and they will be amazed! 
  6. Laugh – you will be tense…it probably helps that you’re a little tense…but be prepared to laugh, to enjoy yourself…and your audience will too. 
  7. Plan for the day – arrange to have time before you play to give yourself time to get there, get set up, breathe, and settle in. You will feel better if you’re settled than if you have to race in at the last minute.
  8. You are not alone!  Know that everyone has some level of trepidation.  Once you realize that everyone feels this way to some extent, you might not feel so marked out.

Stage fright is just another thing you can overcome with practice.  Maybe that should be a goal for this year?  Always play to enjoy – even if there is a little bit of fear mixed in.