Recently, a harp friend told me that she was going to move along. That she was done with the harp. That she had completed what she set out to accomplish. And now that that’s done, it’s time to move on to something else.
I struggled for what to reply. The concept of being done with playing the harp is an anathema to me. I don’t get it. What?
I wanted to argue. She’s a good player. She’s put in so much work. So much time. So much money!
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that arguing with her wasn’t the right tack. After all, she knows her own mind. If she’s done, she’s done. No amount of my quizzing her to death would help. And all those questions surely wouldn’t woo her back and might just push her farther away.
I just needed to be sad.
Sad because I’m likely to lose a friend. When your friendship is built on sharing music, will it survive without it?
Sad because the harp gives me such joy (while also being a challenge) that I can’t conceive of leaving it, yet I have to allow her to do just that.
Sad because I felt badly that, although I think she’s a fine harp player, she had evaluated her own harp life and found it lacking.
And I’m still hopeful that it’s just that she just needs a break and that she’ll come back to the harp – and her harp friends. That she’ll miss playing and just sort of migrate back to it. That the simple act of playing will remind her of the joys to be had.
But if that’s not the case, I really hope that she finds something that is a balm to her like I find my harp is to me – in good times and bad, it’s there for me and I want my friend to have that too. Even if it’s from doing something else.
Because it’s about her and her happiness – and satisfaction – with playing. If that’s not happening, then she probably should move on. I don’t know what she’s going to do with her time now that she won’t be practicing, going to workshops, playing, and all the other things we do. It’s a lot of time to fill. I’m not sure that when we’re in the middle of it, we realize how much time we spend – sometimes it really is more time that we spend with other people (not that there’s anything wrong with that! 😉).
And although I’m sad about all this, I also fervently hope that she is not sad at all. That her choice to move along is standing her in good stead and that she’s finding something that makes her heart sing. I’ll get over it. I’ll play my harp to do so. Maybe I’ll feel compelled to write a tune about it. Or maybe I’ll just play things that we had played together – as a commemoration of sorts.
I know I shouldn’t be sad – things change. And I’ll move past it. But for now, I’m going to be just a little bit sad about it while wishing my friend all the best.
How are you? Let me know in the comments!