Winter is coming…..

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It’s solidly December – and nearly winter. And with that we’ll have the continuing cold that feels as though it will never end. Ever. Never. (If you’re near me on the US Eastern Seaboard, you know that hard to believe, since it’s been so cold already!)

We seek warmth – Cups of tea.  Mugs of coffee. Fireplaces. Sweaters, coats, scarves, socks. We do so many things to fend off the cold.

And for us as musicians and harp players, keeping warm – especially our fingers – is so important.

You are designed to keep yourself warm and one way to do that is to close down circulation to your appendages – your hands and feet and specifically your fingers and toes. Of course, you also may get cold hands and feet when you’re practicing because you are focused and sitting still which does not encourage circulation to your extremities.Being able to feel your fingers is so very helpful when playing! With impeded (or vacated) tactile sensation, you must look at the strings to continue playing. You also lose cues as to what you’ve played, where you are, where you are going. You may find that you can’t manage the harp very well – you may not know until after the string has sounded if you played fortissimo or piano, legato or staccato – or if you even played the string at all! Being cold will require you to use all your senses, even to get through tunes you know cold (pun intended).

So, how can you keep warm, since Winter is Coming…

  1. Do not book outdoor gigs. Even Florida has winter! When the temperature dips below 55o you will be clumsy and less able to feel your fingers. Personally, I set the threshold at 65o so that I am warmer and there is no worry about being too cold once I start playing. Spring and summer and even early autumn may be fine, but winter is right out. Make it part of your contract so that there are no questions.  Just don’t.
  2. Dress warmly. If your core and head are warm, your body will have less need to divert blood to your core, which will keep the capillaries in your fingers (and toes) open – and warmer. As you may have heard as a youngster, “Put on a sweater, I’m cold” – if you need to, designate a “practice sweater”.  And have a scarf ready in case you need it to ward off chill.
  3. Plan breaks in your practice time. I’m sure you already do this, but in colder weather, take more frequent breaks. Be sure to move and stretch. Wiggle your fingers. Get up from the bench and walk around a little. If you are thinking, “just a little longer, I’ll practice just a little longer” stop and take a break.
  4. Wear fingerless gloves or wrist warmers. Ok, this is standard advice, but I don’t use these, because, usually my wrists are inside my shirt and sweater sleeves and they are already warm. It’s my fingers – the parts not covered in fingerless gloves – that are cold! So, I don’t find these helpful.  However, I know loads of people who love them, swear by them, and wear them. They’re definitely worth a try.
  5. Turn up the heat. I’m a cheapskate but even I turn up the heat when it’s practice time. Because otherwise I just waste my time (being cold). Even more thrifty and parsimonious than I am? Sit in a window and let the sun do its thing (but be sure to move your harp out of the sunlight when you’re through).
  6. Invite friction. If you start to lose feeling in your fingers, rub your hands together for a little friction warmth. This will give you a little more feeling of warmth. And if you’re smart about it – it will double as a light hand massage!

These things will allow help you keep warm when playing throughout the winter. How do you keep your fingers warmer? Let me know in the comments.

Overcoming Anxiety – Seven ways to make it through the holidays

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The upside to this time of year is that there are plenty of opportunities to perform. E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e wants harp music at the holidays. Sometimes they even expect to pay for it!

The downside to this time of year is that there are plenty of opportunities to perform. So, your anxiety may be ratcheted up, and if you’re working a lot, it might stay up there.

A little anxiety is good for you and actually improves your performance. But sometimes, it gangs up on you or you have trouble controlling it. So, how do you overcome that anxiety?

  1. Do not deny it. There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. In fact, you could embrace it. What you don’t want to do is tell yourself that you shouldn’t feel anxious. If you do, you do – because you’re human! NB – I am not talking here about full blown anxiety attacks or panic attacks. These are different in that they may require you to seek help, not glib advice from me (some people actually sort of enjoy the sick-to-my-stomach-how-did-I-end-up-here feeling). If you need it, don’t deny that and seek help!
  2. Breathe. No, really, breathe. Deep, belly breaths will help oxygenate you, improving your focus and clarity. And pushing that crowding fog back where it belongs.
  3. Listen to yourself. Recently, just before a gig, I was feeling anxious. Way anxious. More so than is typical. A lovely, dear friend arranged for me to have a quiet space to be alone to prepare for my concert. I was so grateful! But once I got there, I found I was becoming more anxious. I kept changing my set list and fidgeting, and despite the deep breathing, I was not settling. I went back to the crowded room where the audience was gathering – and settled down immediately! No more fluttering heart or roiling stomach. I even felt at peace! For me, the final centering and calm had been on the day before, when I could clearly think about what I wanted to do. For my dear friend, that last moment’s quiet is a godsend. What works for her nearly drove me off the deep end. Know yourself and prep your way. Need 3 cups of coffee? Ok. Yoga’s your thing? Do it. Need to look your audience in the eye and get a feel for what you need to deliver? Than do that. Be you and do your thing.
  4. Find your “why”. You said yes to the performance. Why? We all have our reasons. Know yours and keep that forefront as you perform. If you need to, write it in big letters at the top of your set list. When you get edgy – read it again.
  5. Ridiculous and Sublime. Most of us worry about performing badly, thereby embarrassing ourselves or appearing foolish. This maybe especially true if you began playing as an adult. But here’s the thing – it’s not about you. The audience is likely to have just a few thought tracks focused on either “oooh, that’s so lovely” or “I wish I could do that”. Notice how none of it is about you – it’s all about the music. So, focus on your gift to the audience – you’re sharing, and they have agreed to partake – enjoy!
  6. Name your fear. Anxiety can grow from fear (of performing poorly, of being foolish, etc.). But like a mushroom, your anxiety will grow best in a warm dark place (like your mind). So take time to identify – and name – your fear. If it helps, write it down and bring it into the cold light. Then write down your opinion of that fear, what you would tell your best friend if they expressed that fear, and what the worst possible outcomes of the fear might be. This will help you really face it – afraid you won’t be prepared? Schedule more practice. Afraid you’ll look foolish? See above. Lather rinse repeat (you can do this with other fears in your life as well).
  7. Pay attention! No really. When you’re focused on how you’re feeling anxious, you are not paying attention to the right things. Pay attention to the harp, to the music, to your technique, and to your audience. That’s a lot to focus on – but it’s what’s important. What isn’t important is the random note that came out of your harp a minute ago, or that you wish you were done, or any other casual stuff that floats out of your brain. Stay present and pay attention.

But mostly, find what works for you. What works for you for overcoming your performance anxiety? Let me know in the comments.

Make your music shine!

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When I walked into my local grocery on the morning of Halloween – yes, on the 31st of October – the candy shelves were bare. Not picked clean by overeager spoilers of goblins, ghosts, and ghouls. Swept bare – professionally cleared out. In preparation for stocking the Christmas treats. In October!

That helped slam home how little time remained before the holidays. How little practice time actually occurs before the onslaught of holiday playing opportunities.

In the weeks since then, while cramming Christmas carols and jamming holiday songs, it’s easy to lose sight of one teeny-tiny element. Yes, you know you need to know the music – but how will you make it shine?

You might be shaking your head thinking, “what is she on about now?”.  What do I mean by “shine”?

Well, think about it. There will be music everywhere. Children’s choirs, high school bands, muzak, and….you.

You with your beautiful, enchanting harp.

You, with your lovely arrangements.

You – just another performer in a season that is full of performers and goes on and on and on.

So, how will you stand out? Of course, you will have the novelty of the harp. And that will be satisfying to your listeners for a few minutes. But it is what you do with it that will keep them captivated. And this is true whether it’s your first Christmas harping, or if you were there playing at the nativity!

You will play your best for them pa rum pum pum pum.  You need more – but what?  I’m so glad you asked – here are five ideas.

  1. Remember – the melody is the thing.  You may be working on an arrangement that looks like the most rhythmically complex arranger made a bet with the most lux chords arranger to generate an arrangement that uses all your fingers, toes, your nose and your friend’s fingers – but if it comes apart (from nerves, poor lighting, not enough preparation, or any of the other things that knock your playing) it doesn’t serve your audience.  Be sure to deliver the melody – on time, every time, even if you have to drop the harmony.  An amazing arrangement is great, but it’s the melody that’s the show – the melody is the thing – deliver the goods.
  2. Learn some cool stuff, but include the traditional old favorites. I recently saw a statistic which indicated that over 90% of Americans celebrate Christmas, even though somewhere like only 40% identify as church going Christians. As humans, we crave traditional things, and we follow trends!  So, know your audience (as much as possible) and play for them. For every I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas have a Silent Night. And I’ll give a prize to the person who can explain to me why this hippopotamus song is so popular!
  3. Don’t forget the rest of your repertoire. Even though it’s holiday time, you can fill out your performance package with some non-holiday tunes. These give the advantage of being slightly more practiced, so if you hit a rough patch, playing these tunes will help you to refocus and settle back in before returning to Christmas. Distribute these tunes throughout the set list and keep the non-holiday portion of the list to about 25% or so of the total. The change up will revive your audience of the monotony of all holiday music, which happens – especially as we get closer to Christmas day.
  4. Add “pro” touches to the tunes. If you typically play trad, there aren’t a lot of intros, codas or bridges. But now, it’s holiday time and not everything is trad (or not the trad you usually play!). So, step up your game. Generate some intros. You don’t need to spring the tunes on the audience.  Intros are cues to your audience of what’s to come so they can be part of the music. Don’t let them all be church organ wonders (playing the last phrase before launching the tune). You can use a “catchy” phrase, a countermelody, a chord progression, or anything else that helps the audience be “in” on the tune as it starts.  Add a bridge to move between tunes that make good sets or pair up tunes that help lead from one to the other (my current favorite is to lead into Silent Night from a riff on Brahms’ Lullaby).  and don’t forget the coda to make sure everyone knows your about to wrap the tune.  Remember – you’re communicating with the audience so don’t bury the lead – let them be part of the conversation.
  5. End Big! Keep a standard that is a strong part of your repertoire for your close. I like We Wish You a Merry Christmas – it’s upbeat, comes in varying tempos and, like Auld Lang Syne, helps signal that we’re at the end of the event. This works well for a background gig and it also makes a great encore/stage return for a concert gig. Either way, if you can, practice it with volunteers “joining in” so you can get a feel for how it sounds/what it feels like when people start to sing along. Trust me, it will happen and the first time, you might as well be ready for it.

All of these elements will help make your set shine – like the lights on the tree. I’m sure you have great ideas too – what do you include to make your holiday music shine? Do you close with other tunes? Let me know in the comments!

Celebrate Peace

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Sunday was Armistice Day, and the 100th anniversary of the end of the war to end all wars.

Ok, so they didn’t get that bit right.

Armistice Day, Veterans’ Day, Remembrance Day – no matter where you live, it is an opportunity to remember the fallen who gave their lives, and those who pledged their lives so we could enjoy ours in peace and freedom.

That seems like a good reason to give them their due the way we are best able – through music.

There are so many things you could do at this point.  You could do nothing, of course.

But instead, you could commemorate the original Armistice and play the tunes of the day – there was some great tunes written at that time including Keep the Home Fires Burning, It’s a Long Way to Tipperary, or Carry Me Back to Ol’ Virginie.

You could play music from other post war eras including anything from Irving Berlin.  Or you could just play music of our own time – which we enjoy because of those that came before.

You could compose your own pieces.

And you could play in a number of places including a Veterans’ Home, for a veteran’s group, or another civic group.

Just play – and enjoy that you can do so in peace!

Give it a rest!

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There are so many things we can do with our harps to make a noise – typically beautiful, but not always. And there are all the effects – from bowing the low strings to PDLT to damping to glissing – we have all kinds of ways to disturb the air and get sound.

We each spend time practicing our favorite sounds. Or those required by the score (Bernard Andres comes to mind quickly, but there are others…). We might even spend time actively seeking out new noises to make from our instruments or perfecting our technique to assure we get the effect we meant (harmonics come to mind). We work hard to get noises from our harps.

And of course, we spend a great deal of time learning to play so that we know exactly how to touch our instruments, so we get what we wanted – beautiful tone, deep, sonorous chords, compelling melodies, captivating harmonies.

But there is something else that we should practice that will enhance all this. We always let this get by us, and yet, it is often the secret sauce that really “makes” the tune. It allows the audience time to reflect. It gives you a space to think. It helps insert life into the tune. And it seems to terrify so many of us.

What is it that we’re so afraid of?

Is it a technique that is difficult to master? Nope

Is there some “signature composer” that we should have already thought of (but we haven’t)? Nope

Is it some advanced riff that only the best musicians get? Nope again.

It’s the magical, useful, and all too undervalued rest.

You know – silence.

The space b-e-t-w-e-e-n the notes. The ones you might shave in the fast tunes (which is why you end up playing faster). The ones you wish you didn’t have so many to count in ensemble. The ones that can completely make (or break) your competition air. The ones that, when used appropriately, get your audience right where you want them, in the moment, with you.

Why do you need to practice your rests? Well, mostly so you will be comfortable – with the silence. We often “clothe” ourselves in the protective wrapping of notes. We think that we will be protected if we have the notes or that we are vulnerable and exposed in the space between.

How about you turn that thinking on its head. In fact, the rests are the most free part of the melody. Rests add a strength to the harmony that the sounded notes cannot. And they give you a little bit of a breather.

You already know how to make a rest. You just don’t play (or you also damp). And you don’t play for some finite amount of time (as described by the music). You create an absence of sound. You don’t generate any sound.

Of course, as you practice a piece, you would generate a rest if required by the composer in the piece. But, there are other useful times for silences – between pieces? Under thunderous applause? When you want to get the attention of the audience?

So, how really do you get comfortable with rests? Especially the long ones. Because, contrary to popular belief, that is not time made available by the composer so you can fidget! That’s true whether it’s a 16th rest or a thousand bars of rest in an ensemble piece. No matter how long or short, you need to wait, be quiet, and be ready, but not overeager, to come in.

Short rests are relatively easy to practice because they are a direct part of the melody.  You can practice them with your metronome, just like every other element of the music.

For the longer rests, between tunes or to create a mood, here’s a suggested practice element.  This can help you become more consonant with the emptiness of the rest. Use your watch (but only sparingly).

One of the most difficult things to do is to estimate how long you have been sitting, making silence. I had the opportunity to play for a meditative event. In this playing, it is important to leave a little space for thinking, praying, and contemplation.  So, the rests become ever so much more important! A full minute is not too long to wait. I actually used my watch.

And learned something so important – when I had finished a tune and was waiting to begin the next, I had thought, “oh crikey, I better get going or they’re going to think I’ve fallen asleep.”

Watch check – 18 seconds. What?!? Only 18 seconds? It felt like a week.

I was aiming for 90 seconds. It felt like forever had gone by. Boy was I wrong!

After that, I start practicing estimating the amount of time that had passed since the end of the tune. (Reality check – to you the tune might end when you start to play the last chord, but to the audience, the tune ends when they can’t hear the lingering reverb any longer (or you complete your gesture) – which could be a while!)

My hack for estimating time – because it’s rude to check your watch over and over – is to sing the Birthday Song in my head.  It takes about 10 seconds to sing (don’t rush it just because you’re not singing aloud). I breathe. I position (and then check) my fingers when I’m ready to play again. I don’t rush. Want to leave a minute? Sing the song six times through.  To get 90 seconds sing it 9 times.

This ability to “tell time” without telling time will also make your presentation easier on your audience and on you. You can assure you leave some “breathing room” between your tunes.  When you are not in a rush, you are more present which makes your music more lifelike and fuller. And what’s not to like about that?!?

So, incorporate full rests (no shaving of note value) and waiting rests (silences between) into your playing and Give it a rest! How do you make space for the silences?

When you fall –

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I heard a very interesting story on the blahblahblah radio station* as I was traveling home from a delightful trip to the Stone Mountain Highland Games in Atlanta (always fun – and so very pleased to have been invited to judge the competition, to teach a workshop, and to perform!).

The story on the radio related that there will be a marathon runner in this year’s Marine Corps Marathon 10K (which, for any couch potatoes in the crowd, is nearly 6¼ miles!). What made it interesting is that the runner is retired US Army Master Sargent Cedric King, who stepped on a large explosive while in Afghanistan, losing both of his legs.

As you might have guessed, he had a hard row to hoe making a comeback from that. But he did.  And now he’s a distance runner. What he said in the interview really struck me – from the beginning when he said that this event – and its outcome – are what made his life take a turn for the best.

Yikes, I am relentlessly upbeat, but even I am awed by that attitude!

In the interview, he said some things that I thought are important and applicable to us. Now, I don’t in any way, equate the challenges we have as we try to learn, master, and perform our music with all the things Master Sargent King went through. However, he has an inner strength and a focus that could help anyone become better at anything they chose to focus on. Here are my take-aways (I was driving, so I couldn’t really take notes, these are my impressions rather than quotes!).

  1. Master Sargent King pointed out that when you have a long way to go, focus on getting through the next step, not the next mile. We often become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of ink on the page or the vast amount of sound in the air when we’re trying to learn a tune. Or the idea of putting together an entire package of music (for competition, for a gig, for the next lesson) can be crushing. But if you remember, production of music is serial – you can’t rush listening, it can only go in the way your ears take it, one note at a time.  You can work on it one thing at a time.  The next step, and only the next step, will get you there. It is good to keep the end in mind, but you can only get there in small, individual, steps.  No one gets there in one step, unless they have musical seven-league boots!
  2. He also pointed out that when you have to recover, you might have to relearn things you’ve been doing for years.  So what?  No need to be embarrassed.  So you have to relearn those things – get to it (and it will get easier). This is a toughie – because we all want to avoid embarrassment. And while we typically don’t actually fall when we’re doing our work, we can metaphorically fall (although, I have actually fallen off the bench before – not pretty, and very embarrassing!). I think of this with two kinds of “falls” – the first is when we have allowed bad habits to worm their way in and we need to “break it down”, go back to the basics, unlearn our bad habits and relearn better approaches – whether to be faster, more accurate, or to avoid pain and injury. It is disheartening, but if we pay attention to our “recovery time” we’d see that it’s not that bad. The second kind of fall is when we are self-taught or have had less rigorous instruction (you can’t blame the teacher if you left before you had learned all that teacher had to share) and you realize that despite your advanced harp years or experience, you don’t know how to perform basic elements (Did you know how to do an arpeggio accurately? Not everyone learned that). In that instance, you have to seek instruction and share with someone that you need help learning (whatever) “basic” element that you haven’t already learned. Embarrassing, but not fatal – go, get the help you need to learn when you need to learn and move on.
  3. Mr. King talked about getting right back up, don’t spend any time down.  When you fall, get right back up, don’t pause, don’t rest, don’t think about it, just get up and get at it! Again, I wouldn’t say that our “falling” is nearly as challenging as his, but we all have something that intimidates us. His point is that if you fall, get right back up because every moment that you stay down makes it harder to get up.  Wait too long and you’ll be on the floor permanently. Don’t let the mistake in your student recital, the flawed execution at Harp Circle, or the lengthy comments after your competition set keep you on the floor. In fact, if you haven’t failed, you’re probably not trying! So, get up, dust off, review what happened, learn, apply and move on. If you get up every time, you’ve got this!

Remember that everything around you is likely to have an application to your harp life – just listen – and be grateful. Your struggle for flawless scales is nothing compared to recovering from a life altering injury. But your attitude will certainly make it go easier. Have you fallen? How did you get up and get moving? Let me know in the comments!

* you can read the whole story at https://wtop.com/marine-corps-marathon/2018/10/marine-corps-marathon-before-he-could-run-this-soldier-had-to-learn-to-walk-again/slide/1/

 

What are you afraid of?

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Many of us took up the harp (or knitting, or golf, or baking, or something else) as a hobby – something we enjoy. Something that makes a pleasant way to spend time whilst also making us happy. Because these activities are fun and happifying (why yes, I did think that I had just made up that word…which made me happy, but it’s in the dictionary – it’s a real word which makes me happier still), sometimes the pleasure drives us to keep at it – allowing the activity to consume more and more of our time and other resources.

To whit
“What is the right number of harps to own?”
“One more!”

The pleasure. The fun. The happiness. The enjoyment. The drive to learn more, experience more, enjoy more – the thirst for the activity, only slaked by more of it. Ah, so sweet! Playing the harp is a most excellent hobby!

And then, someone prevails upon you to play at church, or a wedding, or a tea, or a funeral. And you agree. It’s just this one event. You’re helping someone else. You’re bringing solace, or contributing to joy, or setting an atmosphere, or creating a milieu. What fun.

And then it hits you. You’re not a performer. You’re not a pro. What have you done?!?

The safety of being an amateur falls away.

And you’re left, terrified. What will you play? Do you have enough repertoire? What if you make a mistake? W-h-y did you agree to do this?

The fear creeps in…like a freight train!

Does fear grip your joy? Does it chase away the happiness? Does the color drain from your delight?

But wait! What are you afraid of? No, really. STOP!

Identify – and name – your fears. By naming your fears (e.g. “I’ll be laughed at”, don’t name it “Harry”), you begin to hold them up to the light. To see what they actually are and to work around them. Maybe start by reminding yourself that loads of people share your fears. And no, that’s not different for you – despite you telling yourself that…just like all the other people do!

Afraid you’ll make a mistake? Some mitigations are available against this. Practice more, only play things you feel strongly confident about, create (and practice) repair points throughout the music, practice “playing through” the mistakes you make, and practice improvising on the tunes. Don’t plan to play anything shaky (do not plan to “pull it out of a hat” while performing – that very rarely goes well!). And build your program to support you – start strong, back every (relatively) weak tune with a “comforter” (a strong, well learned tune) and end strong. Practicing these things will help you feel more confident and help to fight off the fear.

Afraid you won’t be good enough? You’ll be fine – build a strong program, prepare and practice, remember it’s only one day (and that we all have good days and bad days, even your harp hero!). Remember the point of each practice session is to get a little better, stronger, more poised than the practice before. No, you’re not _____ (insert name of current harp crush), but they didn’t ask her to play their event, did they? Nope – they asked YOU! Get out of your own way and play!

Afraid of the audience? That they may laugh, or boo, or leave? Or worse, that they feel nothing. Remember that you are communicating, and they are eager to get the message! Remember too that you are giving and it is not a contest. If you intend to give, what you give will be just right to meet that intention. Also remember that while about 20% of kids (and even fewer adults) have music lessons to learn an instrument, over 80% of adults report wishing they played an instrument! They are too impressed, in awe, and/or envious to laugh or boo. [SIDE NOTE: I hope you have one of the most amazing antidotes to this – to have an audience member seek you out to tell you how much they enjoyed your music. It will make your heart swell with pleasure and pride! And before you dismiss their comments as them “just being nice”, remember this – that person so enjoyed your music that they fought their own fears to come up to you, possibly face your rejection of them(!), to share with you that you made a difference to them (sometimes effusively, sometimes haltingly) and that they are grateful. Honor that, use it build your own confidence – and DO NOT THROW IT AWAY! {Haven’t had this experience? Be patient}]

Afraid you’ll embarrass yourself? The only way to do this is to be unprepared and to not bring your best effort with you. Do the work, and don’t let the fear stop you.

What are you afraid of? Don’t be! Instead enjoy all the things you learn, feel, and share and really get into it. And don’t let fear steal your joy – just enjoy.

Do you get fearful when you sign up to perform? How do you go about getting past it? Was it worth it? Let me know in the comments!

Who are you trying to impress?

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I know someone who has always tried to gain the attention of their parent. In the parent’s home are the typical family photos. On one wall are two photos of that parent with one of the siblings, commemorating an event. On the other two walks, there are 53 photos and certificates of the first person, doing the same activity, alone. After all these outings and exploits, and their documentation, the parent still has not noticed.

It’s heartbreaking. So much message, so little communication.

But it got me thinking about accomplishments and goals aims.

There are a number of questions to address in these situations – and the answers could be very helpful – if they are honest answers.

  1. Who are you trying to impress?
  2. Have they event noticed?

You may find that you are trying to impress other people – your teacher, your partner, your parent, your friends. And you may be successful in capturing their attention. And they may be impressed. But why do you need to continue to strive for their acknowledgement? Are they even qualified to render a useful opinion? So, why does trying to impress those people still leave you feeling hollow?

Did they notice your work at all? Do they continually accord you accolades for your accomplishments? Or have they grown fatigued by having to lavash you in praise? Have they run out of ways to tell you how much they love your playing? If they provide critique – do you actually listen? Is the feedback helpful? Do you use that feedback to learn and grow?

The reality is that a lot of people spend a lot of time trying to impress a lot of people, who for one reason or another, aren’t even paying attention. It’s a big collection of so what.

It can be hard to break free from trying to impress others. Because in the end – you only have to impress yourself. Easier said than done.

So, how can you go about making that change? First, don’t be fooled – it is a difficult change to make. Second, you can make it, you just need to be kind and thorough.

Why do you need to impress you? You are your harshest critic. You are probably more unkind to you than anyone else could be. And you are the only one paying attention all the time. And you must be at peace with your accomplishments. You have to impress yourself to achieve the satisfaction you seek. There is a path – you have to practice it.

  1. Acknowledge that while others may enjoy your music – you really need to impress yourself. Once you can state (and believe) that, you’re on your way.
  2. That was a big step – because once you do that, you are responsible for all your steps forward, steps backward, and steps nowhere – and that is great!
  3. So, what will it take to impress you? Write these things down (see, don’t you wish you had already that practice journal?). Include not just what, but also how you might get there. Not sure of the path? Guess!
  4. Now define those paths and break them down into do-able things (things you will accomplish. Warning – some of these might impress you on their own!).
  5. Write out a schedule – when and how you will do these things.
  6. As you act on this schedule, note what you do, how you do, when you do and when you’ll do again. Adjust as needed.
  7. Lather, rinse, repeat.
  8. Update, modify, renegotiate until you are impressed.
  9. Don’t rest until you are impressed – with you.

PS just doing these things should impress you – you’ll be so much farther along than others who haven’t made these strides.

PPS Don’t worry if sometimes when you try to impress you, you don’t actually scare you!

Once you realize everyone isn’t paying attention, and neither do they care, you’ll be able to learn to impress yourself! What other ways can you impress yourself?

In the end – only your opinion matters – you are who you have to impress.

Once you start, how did you help yourself be more impressed with you? Let me know in the comments!