Tag Archives: Caring for your yourself

Questions

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Do you ever feel like you’re floundering? Like you should be playing but just can’t seem to get onto the bench? In a quiet inner voice are you asking, “why am I doing this?” and not coming up with an answer?

This might be especially true as we come out of the summer season when there are so many workshops and learning opportunities. We see our harp buddies, we sit through the courses. Everyone seems so on fire. At least it seems like it. So we have to ask why we’re not all lit up like everyone else?

It happens – probably to all of us. Sometimes we might lose sight of our why. It’s not a bad thing – if you didn’t care, the question wouldn’t even occur to you.

Everyone else might be lit up because they aren’t adrift at this moment. Or they could be on autopilot and not thinking about it. Or they could be hiding that they are asking themselves the very same question.

It’s ok for your relationship with your harp and your music to go through phases. It’s ok to be all ate up and it’s ok to need a break and it’s ok to be happy as a clam and it’s ok to wonder how come you are stuck. It is not ok, however, to look at everyone else and wonder why they’re not.

We can talk about comparison another time, but for now – if you’re wallowing, not making progress, or even wondering if you should just give up, what should you do?

Start by acknowledging that you’ve got this feeling and you need to explore it. Then you can just ask more questions. Like how are you really feeling? Are you listless? Are you just practicing to say you did but not really engaging? Are you so busy watching other people play (I’m talking to you scrollers who are wondering why you can’t do that thing you saw on FaceTikGram)? Are you thinking you need to do something, but don’t know what? Are you afraid that you’re doing it wrong?

This is a very real struggle. And it can be concerning because it can come and go, attacking when you’re low and disappearing when you’re not. It’s also insidious because it tends to point us to asking the wrong questions to get ourselves back on track. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re not making zero progress.

You’re not lost. You might just need to find some new questions.

What questions could you be asking yourself? Note that no one else can answer these for you. Also, you’re not telling anyone the answers (or the questions), so there’s no comparisons to anyone else. Give yourself time to answer these, they deserve thoughtful, not flip, answers. How about:

  • If I could do anything right now, what would it be? (NB – doesn’t have to be harp related, but that’s kinda where we’re looking)
  • If there was a shiny object, what would it be? (adult version: what do I want to be doing that I’m not, but I could be if I let myself?)
  • What is my harp nirvana (what would make me be so enthralled that I’d completely lose track of time, hunger, and thirst?!)
  • What do I hate so bad that I’d rather skip playing to avoid it?
  • What could I do daily to make my harp life align with my vision of my perfect harp life?
  • What could I do if I was infinitely patient with myself, gave up my should and treated myself as a student or mentee who is allowed to experiment, explore, create, and fail gently?
  • What other questions should I be asking myself to keep progressing?

It’s only by continuing to ask ourselves questions that we’ll continue to grow (ok, that and practicing!). There is no end to the questions you might ask yourself.

Of course, you don’t have to be adrift to ask these questions. You can always be answering them at any time. But when you’re rudderless, it’s easy to focus on not going anywhere – and that’s where the questions come in, helping you get yourself back on course. What questions should I have included? Have you had the opportunity to grow like this? I love hearing from you, send me a comment!

Can there be a First Inning stretch?

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Last week we talked about stretching yourself in your art and I hope you’ll agree that is important.  But, we might have been a little bit ahead of ourselves.  Typically when we talk about stretching, we are talking about moving our bodies, stretching our muscles.  Maybe that’s the First Inning stretch?

Well, that’s pretty important too. And for a lot of the same reasons.  And for a few different ones.  Physically stretching may be important purely because playing the harp is a physical activity.  Don’t believe me?  Play a 3 hour gig!  Or even an intense hour long practice.  Then you’ll know. 

So that physicality, which is easy to minimize or rationalize away, is exactly why we need to be rigorous about stretching our bodies.  Here are six benefits when you need to stretch your body.

  1. Decrease stiffness – all over.  You won’t just stretch part of you – stretch all of you!  As stated before, stretching will also increase your ranges of motion – all those joints and muscles need to work together so you can play…and play well.
  2. Remember what relaxed feels like.  Now, you might think this is about chilling out, but really it’s about letting the muscles relax.  This relaxation needs to be paired with the contraction of the opposing muscle.  And together these actions make playing possible.  Balancing these is what really makes the tone possible – and you’ll get that when you not only contract the muscles but also let them relax.
  3. Stretch your body, refresh your mind.  Whether you’re practicing, performing, or just going through your day, you can have a little break just by stretching.
  4. You already know this – stretching may help you avoid injuries.  And while it will help you be flexible enough to not develop big injuries – perhaps more importantly, you’ll be more likely to avoid those nagging little nigglings that bug you but don’t qualify as injuries in your mind. These little insults can build up over time while you’re ignoring them – so stretch to prevent them in the first place.
  5. Stretching helps you become aware of your body.  That includes when you’re body is humming along….and when something is out of whack.
  6. Stretching helps you focus.  By helping to increase circulation and by promoting breathing, you will be more able to draw your focus to your activities of practicing, playing, and performing. 

If you’re not already stretching, you might consider adding it to your day.  You can incorporate ministretch sessions throughout your day.  At a minimum consider at least stretching during your practice time. Are you really out of practice?  Then you could start by having a big stretch before you get out of bed in the morning! 

Are you stretching?  Do you stretch as part of your harp practice?  What stretches do you do?   Which is your favorite?  Let me know – share them in the comments!